The Scarlet Letter
Volume II, Number 1 | August 1994
Of Puritans and Purity
By Fr. Catfish-Seahorse


The text for today's sermon is from Crowley's Book of The Law, Chapter Three, verses 55-56: "Let Mary inviolate be torn upon wheels: for her sake let all chaste women be utterly despised among you! Also for beauty's sake and love's!"

I mention this because there is an apparently chaste censor running around Cotton-Mather's Co-op with a roll of tape in its hand. Let me explain.

First, Annie Sprinkle's poster was secretly removed (Ms. Sprinkle is a sex goddess who has been widely featured in the media and who travels around this great nation doing performance art). Then another poster advertising performance art found its way to Cotton-Mather's; this one featured a nude frontal of someone called the "Beastie Girl". I entered the commons one day and found that someone had put strips of tape across the Beastie Girl's privates. Imagine my horror and shock.

Sensual

When I saw this I almost decided to come to dinner nude. If the Puritan could express itself, then so could I, and perhaps more poignantly. But then I realized that whoever had taped the poster's privates might also tape over my privates, and this was unacceptable. I did not want to undergo the tedious process of having tape removed from my member. Besides, I suspected there might not be anyone at Cotton-Mather's who would help me.

Anyway, some brave soul eventually had the temerity to remove the tape from Miss Beastie (no, it wasn't me). Rather than accept defeat, the censor crept back when no one was around and stole this poster, too. So long to Beastie, to Annie, and to genitals.

It is politically correct these days to persecute the sensual woman. To examine the underlying psychological causes of this persecution is beyond the scope of this column. However, it is interesting to note that women seem more ready than men to persecute their sensual sisters.

In my thirty-five years of incarnation upon this planet's surface, I do not believe I have ever witnessed such widespread hatred of the sensual women by her "educated" sisters. But "education" is certainly not synonomous with enlightenment. There is no reason to despise any person for manifesting who they are. We should only despise a person who infringes upon us... then we should destroy the infringer.

And now a word about men. It seems to me that many men who go along with the politically-correct of the sensual woman do so only to get laid by politically correct women. 'Nuff said.

Puritans go to great lengths to create conditions of external purity, while inwardly seethe with interesting perversions. No, it is not the externals of a person's life that render that person pure or impure. It is the heart and soul... that inner essence that can never be truly defined, but only experienced ...that decide a person's purity. Most Puritans are about as pure as puss from a wound, centered as they are in an inhibited and paranoid personality, which is afraid even of the physical glory of its own carcass.

"It is not that which entereth a man's mouth that defileth him, but that which cometh out that defileth him." Jesus the Christ said that, after I explained all this to Him. Yeah, He twisted it around a little for His own purposes, but the basic idea remains. Externals don't mean diddly-squat with regard to purity.

So let the sensual woman take back her power, and let Aphrodite rise once more to infest the world with love and joy. And let all those who would oppress the daughters of Aphrodite be simultaniously hanged, electrocuted and forced to eat the food at Pearl Street. I have spoken.

Aum. Ha.



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