The Scarlet Letter
Volume II, Number 2 | October 1994
Column: Heretics For Tea & Crumpets
From Where I Sit
By Sr. Lillith, novice Priestess E.G.C.

This article is intended to describe some of my personal experience of Priestessing the Gnostic Mass. I hope that it will also provide some orientation to the experience of communication for folks who feel suddenly lost or on the spot when it comes their turn to approach the altar.

So You WANT TO COMMUNICATE... OK, this orientation might help. Focus and center yourself. Now climb those short three steps with confidence. Stand or kneel as is your personal preference. Folks who officer the Mass as Priest seem to prefer to kneel, but you can do whatever is most comfortable for you.

The cakes are on your right, the wine is on your left. The Goddess is right in front of you, and within you. She is close enough to feel.

Now look at me. Really get a good look, you can even stare. Blinking is allowed, but don't lose the contact. Look in my eyes, visually trace the lines of my body. A naked woman must be worth a little of your time and attention. Can you see my aura and the energy moving all around the altar?

Have a Cake of Light. Contemplate it for a moment, trace a cross with it in the air if it seems the thing to do. Now look at me again while you chew. Is there a special message for you in my smile or in my eyes? Is there something you would like to say? Don't worry if you can't find your voice, I can hear you anyway.

Would you like to touch me? Hold my hand, rest your fingertips on my knee. Let me put my hand on your cheek or over you heart. We are moving energy together, does your skin prickle? Do you feel warm or cool?

Have some wine. Trace a circle in the air with the Chalice if you are accustomed to doing that. Drink it all, please. Now have one last look. This is your personal Goddess. She comes through me and from you. Bid her farewell, perhaps a kiss on the cheek or on the hand. I am your mother, your sister, your daughter, your lover, yourself.

Stand if you were kneeling. Turn around, cross your arms over your chest and say "There is no part of me that is not of the Gods!"

Now return to your seat. It is someone else's turn to affirm their connection and sovereignty. Thank you for coming to Mass.

* * * * *

Not all Priestesses or Congregants would be comfortable with the level of interaction I have described here. As a communicant you will have to adjust and gage things to suit yourself and the Priestess you are approaching. There are certainly other legitimate and functional styles to Priestessing the Mass. Some are more distant, stoic, or removed than my own.

However, several Priestesses have told me that they would prefer more eye contact than they get from congregants. Many people look down or away. Perhaps because they are embarrassed, nervous, or from a sense of misplaced courtesy, they were taught not to stare.

I find that visual and physical contact helps strengthen the communication and interaction. I am sitting on that altar by free choice and it is my job to be available to the communicant, to be open, channel energy and manifest deity for them and from them. I expect to be looked at.

The Goddess form the Priest and I draw in and generate is consistent and personal to us. But, when the first communicant approaches the altar my energy and pacing changes.

I bow my head and close my eyes to recenter myself and focus energies. Without looking to see who is walking the center pillar towards me, I open myself to being the Goddess that they need. As I raise my eyes to meet theirs, my goal is to assist and support their gnosis. The channel opens, energy flows, and the results are sometimes surprising.

One regular congregant consistently evokes a warm mother energy that seems to say "I love you and approve of you. Let me keep you warm." His reaction is powerful and personal, bringing gentle tears to his twinkly blue eyes and relieved smile to his face. He always gives me an extra special warm hug and thanks after Mass is done and temple closed.

Men who are experienced Mass Priests usually connect to a raw powerful sexy Goddess. Their eyes and movements are confident like an experienced lover. They match and reinforce energy flow quickly. Communicating with other Priestesses the energy circuit is also quickly joined. I open my eyes, in front of me is my sister. I am a golden mirror. We are beautiful, powerful, sexy and intimate... familiar. One last gaze and a kiss from my Priest. The veil is closed. Thank you for sharing your personal Goddess with me. See you next Mass!

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